Being with yourself

The longer we are removed from many of the activities and interactions that we are used to through isolation and social distancing, we get to be with ourselves and our internal conversations more of the time.

It reminds me of the times I attended silent meditation retreats. For those not acquainted with these, a retreat runs for a specific number of days – the instructions are quite simple: at a nominated time you are asked to not speak or communicate with anyone else at the retreat, AND you are requested to not use your phone! 

You meditate, you walk, you eat, you sleep, you meditate some more, all in silence. You are alone with your inner conversations and thoughts. If you’ve ever done this, or even tried it for a short period of time, you realise just how much you don’t shut up!

These retreats remove you from as many things in your life that you use as a distraction from what is going on inside of us. We feel that if we ignore what is going on in us, it will go away. Removing these distractions on a retreat is a sure-fire way to realise that the years of seeking distractions just didn’t work! 

But over time being silent in this way is a revelation, it is healing and it is creating an awareness of those things that we keep hidden through distraction. 

A similar, but less intense thing is happening now. We can’t just go shopping, or go out for a coffee, can’t meet up with friends. We can still have our phones and televisions: but we have been left mostly to our own devices (even with a family). This may well be a time where our fears, anxieties and the good and bad of what we bring to relationships is accentuated. 

How can we utilise this time to learn and grow? 

• You don’t have to be perfect to be loveable. Practice kindness to yourself and gratitude for who you are and what you can give to the world. [Read note below]
• Listen to what comes up for you – use whatever that is as an opportunity to listen like you would to a friend. 
• Don’t fight your thoughts, they will pop in and out of your head uninvited anyway.That is being human. Accept them, but don’t latch on to them – see if you can let go of them like you are letting go of a helium balloon. [Read note below]
• Peace is not the absence of thinking, it is being aware that I am thinking and letting go of my thoughts rather than latching on to them. [Read note below]
• Be aware of what distracts you from taking notice of yourself. [Read note below]
• Learn to sit with emotions that are uncomfortable. They are information, they are a part of you. Be kind to them too. [Read note below]

And the best part is that you are allowed to speak! 

PLEASE NOTE: I want to make the point that I do not profess to be a master of these. I have learned them, and practice them; sometimes well, often not so well. This is a work in progress.